It’s been a while since I have written to you. I wrote to you last year feeling so broken and feeling like I failed you.
I have been missing you since the day I decided that I couldn’t bring you into the world. I will always love and miss you — this will never change.
What I know now is that you are with Him, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and He is the greatest father one could ever have. You are forever safe in His arms and I am comforted knowing you are with Him and your spirit abides in His Holy Presence.
Tim, I saw you in a dream a couple of weeks ago and I will never forget how beautiful and happy you look. I felt love and forgiveness, lying beside you in bed. It was in that moment that I knew you were ok, and that you are with Jesus.
I want to tell you thank you for forgiving me, as your mother, who made the wrong decision. I am forever grateful for your forgiveness.
It is for you, and because of you, that I never lost hope in my ability to heal and that I embarked on this healing journey with Project Rachel because I knew that if my soul didn’t heal, yours would suffer too.
Spiritually, mentally and emotionally I knew I had to fully let go of you.
Now I understand that my feelings of anger, resentment, anxiety, depression etc. were blocking Jesus from fully being able to embrace you. As I feel my soul healing, I know yours is getting lighter. I just want you to know you are loved and always were. One day I hope we will meet. Until then, you are safe with Jesus Christ.
May God continue to bless you my child and may your soul continue to shine in the light of Christ.
— with love, your mother.