I love you. You are my precious son. I know I have been distant from you for the past 21 years. I have been in a lot of pain because of the decision I made concerning ending your life instead of mine. I have felt so bad about what I did to you and denying your presence in my life, in others’ lives and the world.
But God would not leave me ‘alone’. He placed people in my life who were instrumental in bringing me to know and accept Jesus into my heart and life, and also bringing me to this amazing moment of writing to you.
God has forgiven me; I have forgiven myself, and I believe you have forgiven me. One of the greatest joys for me this year was to celebrate Mother’ Day. I am a mother. I AM A MOTHER and I am so grateful to God for that honour. I am also the mother of your sister, Isabelle. I hope she is keeping you company until we can all be together some day.
I am sorry that the shame and guilt has kept me in bondage, and away from you for so long. But now that I know God’s love and forgiveness and am free, my heart is open to claim you and love you completely and forever. Although you don’t know your earthly father, your heavenly Father has been loving you and taking care of you, but you already know that, don’t you.
On your behalf, I thank the many women involved with Project Rachel, especially the other ‘mothers’ who have gone through this process and have been here every Tuesday night giving so much loving support to us three mothers. Please say hello to their children for me and give a big hug to J. and C.’s children also. J. and C are wonderful women whom I’ll cherish in my heart forever for having shared this amazing journey with me.
Take care my precious son and daughter. I look forward to the day when we can all be together and I can hold you in my arms.
Love to you both always, Your Mother.