Before I found Project Rachel I truly didn't think that healing from my abortions was even possible. I was a bundle of angst and tension always looking for something deeper to satisfy the emptiness. I had never really spoken to anyone about what I had done. I swept it under the rug pretending like it hadn't happened.
I carried this guilt and hatred of myself around for so long and was so tired of it. I finally came home to Christ, but still could not find the forgiveness I needed.
One day in church, during praise and worship, I heard the words Pro Life like a whisper in my ear. I took that as a sign that I would be volunteering my time with the organization. Little did I know that God had a wonderful program waiting for me at the other end of the email I sent to Nova Scotians United For Life that would start me on my healing journey.
I reluctantly called the facilitator and the moment we started speaking I knew this was where I was supposed to be. I realized that God had forgiven me long before I was even aware of the abundance of His mercy.
The Project Rachel program has helped me heal when for years I thought it was impossible to do so. God is the only way to heal from this painful decision.
Many years ago you were the surgeon who was assigned to perform an abortion on a patient --- that person was me.
I have thought about you many times throughout the years. There was something about what you said to me at the time that has never left me.
Your face was sad when you told me that you were finished with abortions. Mine was the last one and that you could not do it any more.
At the time I was so frozen with guilt, denial and grief, that I could not respond to you.
Please hear my heart when I say today how sorry I am that I put you in a position where you committed to do the abortion.
I apologize from the depth of my soul. I am forever grateful that you were able to say 'no' to continuing in this practice.
My baby is alive in heaven and I can hardly wait till I am reunited with her someday.
As I am a forgiven and truly grateful woman, as I stand before Jesus, who is my Forgiver, my Deliverer, my freedom giver, I pray that God has and will continue to bless your life and show you His Immense and Wonderful Love.
From the bottom of my heart --- Tilly's mom (a PR woman from 2006)
What a joy to finally be writing to you! I didn’t really know you were out there. To think that you have known me all this time, and I have not known you, is a little strange but also a blessing. A blessing that your ‘slow’ mother has got with the program and been in touch, at last, with her beautiful daughter.
When I first arrived at Project Rachel, I had a broken heart, a broken spirit.
After 10 weeks of soul searching, I was able to forgive myself for hurting my son. The abortion had destroyed my son, my little angel.
The Post-Abortion Syndrome sheet showed me that what I was feeling was normal for my situation.
Receiving a Godmother for my son was a wonderful gift.
Project Rachel is one of the best gifts that I have ever received in my life.
Through Project Rachel and God, I am now more alive and able to enjoy my life. There is sunshine where there was only rain and thunder. God Bless you.
On my way to the first group session, I told my friend I didn’t know if I was ready. Once inside I met a wonderful lady, who hung in while I cried, and told me she knew what I was going through. Sure I thought. How could you know?? She proceeded to tell me of her sweet baby Ashley Victoria and how sad she had been and how much Project Rachel had helped her heal.
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